I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
