It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
