dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
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