i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
