i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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