i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
