I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
