WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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