i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
