i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
