her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I need moral support for this bender
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
