I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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