a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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