Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
