sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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