I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
