i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
