HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
