Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
