she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
