did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
