operation have a gay friend backfired
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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