You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
