Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
