ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
