I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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