your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
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