im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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