I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
