Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
