He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
