Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Randomize
