Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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