So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
