wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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