I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
