I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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