fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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