then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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