dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
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