Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
