even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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