Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
