Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
