I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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