Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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