Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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