why im i the only drunk person in the library?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
