Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Duck Duck Cougar?
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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