apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Girls should come with a carfax report
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize