well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
