I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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