it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
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