The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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