pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
her vagine was all disorganized.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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