Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My breasts were aching with rage.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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