you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
My life is pants optional.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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