Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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